What’s Sexual Frustration? Are Blue Balls Real?


What’s Sexual Frustration? Are Blue Balls Real?

People feel sexual frustration differently because everyone gets aroused different amounts and times. Some people are horny a lot and some people aren’t! This is called having a libido or sex drive. Some people have a high libido or sex drive and other people have a low one.

Some people feel sexually frustrated if they really want to have sex or feel horny, but aren’t in a situation where they can. They might feel like this for lots of different reasons, like having an injury, religious reasons, or not having time.

Other people almost never get horny and that’s okay! But, it’s not okay for a sexual partner to make someone feel pressured into sex they don’t want to have, or make them feel ashamed and guilty for wanting to have sex.

What is sexual frustration?

People might say they’re sexually frustrated if they haven’t had sex in a long time. They may also say it if they really want to have sex but aren’t in a situation where they can. Sexual frustration happens for lots of different reasons, like:

  • Physical injuries that stop someone from having sex
  • Feeling worried or stressed
  • Not being able to find a partner
  • Feeling horny more often than your partner
  • Religious reasons
  • Sexual disorders like erectile dysfunction
  • Not having time or a place to have sex

What are blue balls?

Blue balls is a term some people use to talk about sexual frustrations. When people with testicles feel turned on but don’t have an orgasm they might feel some discomfort or dull pain.

The scientific term for this is vasocongestion and anyone can get it! Even though the term ‘blue balls’ refers to people with testicles, people with any private parts can feel this. It usually isn’t too painful and passes quickly on its own.

How can I deal with sexual frustration?

There are lots of ways to deal with sexual frustration:

  • Orgasm from masturbating or with a consenting partner
  • Take a cold shower
  • Think about something boring like homework
  • Flex a muscle, like your thigh
  • Go for a walk or a jog
  • Do something energetic like playing a video game, drawing, or singing

Sexual frustration can be uncomfortable but it’s not a medical problem. If it doesn’t stop on it’s own or after you tried to get rid of it, something else might be happening. You can see a doctor if you have pain in your privates that won’t go away.

Is sexual frustration a good reason to have sex?

People sometimes pressure their partners to have sex by saying they feel sexually frustrated. This can be scary or hurtful if the other person doesn’t want to have sex.

Sexual frustration is common and it’s not anyone’s fault or responsibility. It’s always important to respect your partners needs and boundaries. If someone feels sexually frustrated they can always masturbate!

More info


Related FAQs