Sometimes people like to take sexy photos of themselves. People do this for many reasons: to share with an intimate partner, to express yourself creatively, to appreciate your own body, or even just to get a better angle on that mole on your butt. People can take these photos just for themselves. Or, they can take a photo knowing at least one other person will see it. But when people who you didn’t want to see your nude photos have access to them, it can be scary and humiliating. It can even lead to online harassment, cyberbullying, or extortion.
So what is revenge porn?
Revenge porn is when someone shares someone else’s nudes without their permission. The term “revenge porn” comes from the reasons some people might do it. Someone who’s angry at their current or former partner might post their intimate photos online without permission. They might do this to hurt or embarrass their partner—for “revenge”.
However, this is not the only reason why a person might want to spread someone else’s nudes. While we use the “revenge porn” as a blanket term, there are some other terms you should know too!
- Revenge porn is when someone shares your nude photos or videos online without your consent. Often, a current or former partner is the one doing it, because they have access to those photos. But anyone who has access to your nude photos can do this, even if you don’t know them at all. Either way, it’s not okay for anyone to do, no matter what your relationship to them is!
- Sextortion is a combination of the words “sex” and “extortion”. This is when someone gets access to someone’s nudes, then threatens to share them with others if the other person doesn’t give them something they want. This could be money, more photos, or other favours or gifts. Sometimes, the people doing this will “catfish” potential victims by pretending to be someone cute online.
- Deepfake porn is when someone edits an existing porn video and replace the actor’s face with the face of someone else. With advances in technology, these videos can be very convincing, and even look real! Even though it’s not a real video of you, it’s still not ok for them to do. Laws about this can vary depending on where you live. If you want to know more, you can look up your local laws about the sharing of intimate images.
What can I do if I’m a target of revenge porn?
Sharing someone else’s nude photos without their consent, even with only one person, is harmful and illegal. It doesn’t matter how someone got your photo, or why they want to share it. Even if you wanted them to see the photo, they can’t share it with anyone else without your permission. That’s still illegal!
If someone shared your nude photos without your consent, know that it’s not your fault. Someone who shares someone else’s photos without their consent is responsible for their own choice to do that.
If someone who you don’t want to see your nude photos has them or is sharing them online, there are things you can do to get help and stay safe!
Telling someone you trust
Dealing with revenge porn can be scary. It can help to ask a friend or family member to support you. If you’re under the age of 16, you can tell a trusted adult, like a parent, teacher, or school counsellor. In Canada, you will not get in legal trouble for taking nude photos of yourself. Only the person who shared the photos without your consent will get in trouble.
If you are really upset and thinking of hurting yourself or someone else, you can reach out to a crisis helpline. You can call or text the Suicide Crisis Helpline at 9-8-8, or you can text Kids Help Phone at 68-68-68.
Contacting a sexual assault centre near you
In addition to people you trust in your life, you can also call a sexual assault helpline or visit a sexual assault centre. Having your nude photos shared without your consent is a form of sexual assault. That means it’s a crime, and there are resources available to people who experience it. These resources are usually free.
Usually, people who work at sexual assault resources are trained to handle situations like revenge porn. They can help you find support, and explain what steps you can take to protect yourself.
In Montreal, you can reach out to the Montreal Sexual Assault Centre. Kids and young adults can also call Kids Help Phone any time at 1-800-668-6868. You can also text us at SextEd if you need help finding resources in the Montreal area! Reach us at 1-514-700-4411.
Reporting the photos
On most social media websites, you can report posts and images that go against the website’s policies. If you know where the photos are being shared, you can use the report button to contact the website. Once you’ve made a report, they’ll remove the photos. If you plan to take legal action, it can help to take screenshots of any profiles sharing your photos before reporting them. That way, you can use them as evidence later.
If you don’t know where to look for your photos online, you can try:
- Searching your name using a search engine to see if the images come up in the results
- Using a reverse image search engine, like Google image search
If any results come up, you can contact that website directly and ask them to take the photos down.
Different websites have different image removal policies. You can read about how to remove images from specific platforms here: https://cybercivilrights.org/ccri-safety-center/#online-removal
Telling the police
The person who shared your photos committed a crime. That means they can get in legal trouble for what they did. If you want to press charges, you can contact your local police station, or call the non-emergency line. You’re allowed to choose not to tell the police, but you can tell them if you want to.
If you choose to do this, it can help to collect evidence. Organizations like Cybertip recommend documenting as much as you can. Some things to document include:
- Screenshots of messages between you and the person who has your photo
- When you took the photo
- Who you sent it to and when you sent it
- How and when you found out it was posted online
Try to take screenshots that show the date and time that the person posted it online, and the name of the account that posted it. If anyone else contacts you to harass you about the images, you can take screenshots of that too! You can also ask someone you trust to help you with this if taking screenshots of these things is too stressful.
If you’re under 18 in Canada, you can reach out to Need Help Now for resources on what to do if you are a victim of revenge porn. You can also file a report online with Cybertip, the national tipline for online child sexual abuse. If you haven’t reported it to the police yet, Cybertip will do so. This would be a good option if you want to remain anonymous or avoid dealing with the police.
Taking care of yourself
If you’ve experienced revenge porn, there’s no wrong way to feel! Some people feel embarrassed, angry, depressed, or anxious. However you feel about it, revenge porn is a crime, and you have the right to be taken seriously and supported.
It may help to know that taking nude photos of yourself is ok to do, and lots of people do it! Taking nude photos of yourself is not an invitation to have those photos shared, just like wearing a sexy outfit doesn’t mean someone is “asking for it”. Only someone who shares, or threatens to share, those photos without your permission will get in trouble for it. They’re the one who has done something wrong, and you have options for support and justice.
When someone goes through something stressful or hard, it’s important for them to remember to take care of themselves. What that means can be different for everyone! Some ways that people can process difficult feelings and experiences include:
- Keeping a journal
- Taking time off work or school
- Spending time with people you trust
- Seeing a therapist
- Doing things that help you feel good in your body, like playing a sport you like, eating tasty food, spending time in nature, or having sex you’re really excited about
For more info and links to other resources, check out YWCA’s guide to image-based sexual abuse.
