Sadly, trans people are usually an afterthought in advice about sexual pleasure. But they can be as sexual as cisgender people! Trans people’s desires and sexualities can also be as diverse! Everyone has different things that feel good for them. People who physically transition might also have to find new ways to feel pleasure. Some kinds of sex and intimacy might trigger dysphoria. Some can affirm someone’s gender! Sexual pleasure can be hard to find, but lots of things can help!
Knowing what kinds of sex you like just means you know what you like. It doesn’t make you “more” or “less” trans. The sex you like also doesn’t need to mean anything about your gender identity, unless you want it to!
This article doesn’t talk about pleasure after bottom surgery, but we’re working on it!
Exploring your body on your own is a great way to learn what you like! You can ask things like…
- What feels good to you?
- Which body parts do you like touched? How?
- Do you prefer soft or hard touches?
- Do you like vibration?
- Are some areas more sensitive?
There is no rush to discover what you like! What feels good also changes all the time. That’s especially true if you start taking hormones. New things might also feel good after surgery.
Just because you have a body part doesn’t mean you have to use it for sex. Masturbating and fantasizing can help you figure out what parts you might want to use or not!
Muffing is when someone penetrates their partner’s inguinal canals. These are narrow tubes behind the skin. They’re on either side of someone’s external parts. Some people use them for tucking. People can find the inguinal canals by lightly pushing different parts under the strapless and external gonads. They run diagonally toward the hips.
Some trans women and non-binary people people like muffing because it can feel a little like vaginal penetration. Muffing can also feel affirming for some people.
Inguinal canals can be narrow! It helps to start with lube and a pinky or small sex toy. They might get bigger with time. Going slowly and carefully can help avoid pain, discomfort, or injuries.
Front Hole Pleasure
Some trans men and non-binary people like using their front hole for sex and others don’t. Front hole sex can bring up lots of different feelings. It can help to get on the same page by talking with your partners about how you feel before, during and after sex.
If it’s your first time, going slowly and starting with fingers or smaller toys can help avoid any pain. Using lube can also help it feel less tight.
If you started taking testosterone, you may notice your front hole doesn’t get wet as easily. Extra lube can help it feel better! Lube will also lower the risk for small tears. You can also ask a doctor about other things that might help!
Some trans women and non-binary people like using their strapless for sex. But others don’t. Strapless sex can bring up lots of different feelings. It can help to get on the same page by talking with your partners about how you feel before, during and after sex.
If you start taking hormones, sensations and orgasms can look and feel different. Your body will also make less sperm and semen.
With hormones, it might be difficult to get hard enough for penetration. Sometimes, taking more time to “warm-up” by kissing or touching your partner can help. You can also talk to your doctor about drugs like Viagra and other changes.
Other Types of Sex
There are lots of other ways that trans people can have sex! Lots of people like oral sex. People of any gender and sexuality can enjoy anal sex. However, if you’ve had a surgically-created vagina, your doctor may tell you not to have anal sex for a while after to prevent injury.
Some people also like BDSM and other kinky stuff. Like with anything intimate, people can talk with their partners about what they like and what feels good for them.