Shopping for sex toys sometimes feels risky or overwhelming for people who are trans, non-binary or both. Unfortunately, a lot of companies also focus on toys for cisgender people. They can also have really gendered boxes. It can be hard, but there are lots of ways to find the perfect toy that feels great.

Some toys can be gender-affirming for some trans and non-binary people. This means they affirm your gender identity. You can look for toys that feel comfortable, pleasurable, and affirming!

Shopping for Sex Toys

Some people don’t feel comfortable going to sex shops in person. Most companies have online stores to see what they have or order online if you prefer. There are no age restrictions to buy sex toys in Canada. But most sex shops won’t let you inside until you’re 18 and many online stores require you to promise you are 18+ to view and buy their products. Certain shops, such as Venus Envy in Halifax, do not have an age policy. Local pharmacies may also be a minor friendly option.  

There are also more inclusive sex shops that are queer-friendly, and offer gender neutral listings! Many have age restrictions but they can feel safer for a lot of people. More of them have sex toys made for trans and non-binary people too! There isn’t currently one with a physical location in Montreal right now but there are many options if you’re shopping online or you’re in another city!

• Nox, online shop based in Montreal 
• Venus Envy in Ottawa and Halifax
• Come As You Are in Toronto
• The Nookie in Toronto 
• Cute Little Fuckers, online shop based in Californa 
• New York Toy Collective, online shop based in New York

Safer Sex with Toys

Using and cleaning sex toys in certain ways can lower your risk for STIs and other issues. Using water-based lube can help keep most toys in good condition.

Cleaning sex toys can help prevent infections, especially if you plan on sharing them or using them with multiple partners. You can clean most of them with mild soap and water. And you can also sterilize some toys by boiling them or putting them in the dishwasher. Be sure to double check if the materials of your toy allow for this. If you prefer, you can buy a cleaner made specifically for sex toys or wipes. 

You can also lower your risk for STIs by avoiding sharing toys. Or, you can put a condom or dental dam over some toys if you do plan on using your toys with more than one person.

Finding the Right Sex Toys

There are lots of sex toys that are more popular for trans and non-binary people. Some are even specifically made for trans bodies!

Dildos and Strap-ons

Dildos are sex toys that people can use to penetrate a mouth, front hole, or anus. You can also play with it by licking, kissing, touching, and stroking. They come in many different shapes, sizes, textures, materials, and colours. Some are phallic or shaped as a penis, and many are not. Some are double sided for use with another person. Small, finger-sized dildos can work well for muffing. Some dildos can squirt out liquid or lube, which can be gender affirming. 

Strap-ons are dildos that you can wear with a harness or special underwear. They are placed in front of your genitals. Some can be attached to other parts of the body, such as a thigh, a face, or a hand. Others can be put onto objects like a boot. These types of strap-ons may make some people feel less dysphoria.

Lots of people use strap-ons because they feel gender-affirming. There are also strapless strap-ons dildos. These have a part that is placed inside a person’s front hole. They then let people penetrate with or without a harness and allow the person penetrating feel more sensations. Some of them vibrate or have other features to stimulate the penetrating person’s genitals as well.

Vibrators

A vibrator is a sex toy that vibrates in ways that can feel great. They can come in lots of shapes, colours and sizes. Depending on the toy, you can use them on the inside or outside of your genitals, on chests, nipples and any other erogenous zones. Some vibrators are specifically marketed towards all genders regardless of what is in your pants, like the Starsi!

Small vibrators like bullet vibes can be good for muffing. Bullet vibes can sometimes help if estrogen makes your genitals more sensitive. Others may prefer a more intense sensation like with a wand vibrator. These are also long enough that you can use them without touching your genitals. Vibrators with an air pulse feature can stimulate licking and oral sex. These can be used on nipples, bottom growth, and other body parts. There are also vibrators that can be controlled remotely with an app or controller, which can be used hands free.

Toys for Anal

Some trans and non-binary folks may prefer toys that are designed for stimulating the anus. One option is a butt plug, made to be placed into the anus for longer periods of time. Many options come with a gem or a flower. There are also some that have a tail attached to them. They can come in many different lengths and sizes.  For deeper stimulation, some people prefer anal beads, a toy that has a string of multiple spheres in a straight line along a shaft. There are also many different types of dildos and vibrators made specially for anal sex. That means that the base of the toy is wide enough for it to be safely used without getting lost in the rectum. 

Strokers

A stroker is a masturbation sleeve that allows a person to place their genitals inside. Many are designed to make you feel like you’re penetrating a mouth, front hole, anus, or vagina. They can have different materials and textures that can feel great too. Some people like strokers because they can masturbate without touching their genitals.

You can also find strokers made specifically for bottom growth. Some are phallic to reduce dysphoria, and others are not.

Packers, STPs and Pack ‘n’ Plays

Packers are prosthetics that you can wear in front of pants or underwear to create a bulge. Typically, these are soft and are not used for sex involving penetration but you can wear them with a strap or harness to reduce gender dysphoria during sex or in your everyday life. Some boxers are also made special for packing, or there’s also a special pouch that you can attach to any underwear that you prefer. Some packers even work to help you stand to pee, called stand-to-pee devices. You can also use some packers for penetrative sex similar to a strap-on, and some duo as a packer and stroker. These are often called Pack ‘n’ Plays.

Wearable Breast and Genitals Prosthetics

Some people might enjoy a prosthetic that they can wear with no other outside tools needed. The company GenderCat makes custom self-adhesive prosthetics, including packers, nipples and breast forms. There are also options that work similar to undergarments. For instance, these panties allow for penetration of a prosthetic vagina when worn. There is also an option with a prosthetic penis, and one with wearable breast forms.

Pumps

You can put a pump over your genitals and use suction to increase blood flow. They may increase growth, sensation, and stimulation. Some pumps are made for bottom growth. Some can be used with strokers at the same time!

The Ohnut

The Ohnut is a stretchy ring that sits at the base of a strapless, dildo, or penis. It acts as a buffer to make penetration less deep. You can stack a few to find the right depth.

The Ohnut can help people who have pain when they’re penetrated. It can also help people who are healing after bottom surgery.

Semen Lube

Some folks may find it affirming to use lube that looks like semen, often called cum lube. There are many different options on the market, made from water, silicone or a mix of both. These can also be a great pairing with squirting dildos. If you are using it with silicone toys, make sure that you are using water-based or hybrid lube. You can also make your own using one cup of water and a tablespoon of cornstarch.

Toys for Grinding 

Some trans and non-binary folks may prefer toys that don’t have a focus on penetration, and many prefer toys that are designed to have genitals and body parts grind on them. The back of the toy is often flat so you can place it on a pillow, bed or any surface that feels good to you. Some come in the shape of an object or genitals, some are mostly flat but with ridges, and others can vibrate! Some are made specifically for placing on the back side of a dildo to increase sensation when used with a harness. These types of grinding toys also come in the shape of genitals or many other shapes! 

Bondage, Impact, and other Kink Options

Some people may prefer toys that do not involve contact with genitals. For many, BDSM and kink may be a good option. These can include tools for restricting movement known as bondage, toys for impact like paddles and floggers (be sure to know where it is safe to hit!), as well as other ways to experience sensations using ice cubes or feathers. Nipple clamps are another option with no genital contact. There are also a wide variety of fetishes that you might be interested in! Some folks find boots, leather and other objects erotic, for example.  

What now?

There are many different types of sex toy options that trans and non-binary folks may find affirming and pleasurable! After reading this article, you may find an option that looks interesting for your needs. You can explore them solo or with a partner to find the one that works and feels right for you.