Masturbation is when someone pleasures themselves sexually. It can be a great way to release stress, get to know your body, and learn about what feels good for you. That’s why it’s a common and healthy part of many peoples’ lives!
At SextEd, we get a lot of questions about masturbation. This article addresses some of the most common myths and misconceptions we hear about!
Can masturbating change my body? Does it make me weaker?
Masturbating can’t permanently change your body. If you don’t like how it makes you feel, you can stop, and there will be no lasting effects. Masturbating doesn’t change how your body looks or works. It can actually have a lot of positive benefits, like making you feel relaxed, relieving pain, and improving self-confidence!
A lot of people believe urban legends, or made-up stories, that say that masturbation can hurt you. Those aren’t true! Masturbating doesn’t:
- alter your vision
- give you acne
- permanently change the way your genitals look
- make you grow hair or lose hair
- make you more fertile, or less fertile
- stunt your growth, or make you grow
- make you lose muscle mass or strength, or gain body fat
There is no scientific support for the idea that masturbation can do anything to hurt you physically. It’s actually one of the safest sexual activities you can do!
Can masturbating change or affect my mental health? Is it addictive?
There’s evidence that masturbation is actually good for a lot of people’s mental health! It can help some people get better sleep, and boost their mood. But almost anything, even something that is completely harmless all by itself, can make people feel worried or anxious. For people who grew up being told that masturbation is bad or wrong, sometimes masturbation can cause feelings of guilt or shame. If someone feels that way, it might benefit them to talk to a therapist about their feelings.
Being “addicted to masturbating” isn’t a recognized mental health disorder, and you can’t be diagnosed with it. But it is possible that someone could masturbate so much that they ignore other important things in their life, or that they feel distressed about it. If you feel like the amount that you’re masturbating might not be right for you, you can talk to a doctor or therapist about it. But if it’s not interfering with your ability to go about your daily life, it’s probably not a problem!
Can other people tell that I masturbate? Do I need to tell my partner?
Nobody can tell whether someone else masturbates or not just by looking at them! Even if there were some kind of way to tell, over 80% of people report that they masturbate. So you wouldn’t stand out at all!
It’s up to you whether you talk to a partner about it or not. But, many people find that talking about masturbation with their partner(s) is a positive experience and can enhance their sex life. If you’re worried about what your partner will think about you masturbating, it can help to have an open and honest conversation about it where everyone can express their feelings.
Is it okay if I masturbate to ____? What if I feel weird about it?
How you masturbate, what you masturbate to, how often you do it, how long you do it–all of that is up to you! Masturbation is private, and only you (or a sex partner who you’re consensually sharing that with) get to know about it. Just like any other type of sexual activity, consent is still important, so make sure everyone involved is excited about it. It’s not ok to use non-consensually shared images to masturbate, send someone your nudes without consent, or otherwise involve an unconsenting person when you masturbate.
If someone masturbates to something that they feel weird about, or something that they’re worried it’s unethical to masturbate to, it might help to ask themselves a few questions about it. What about this turns me on? What about it makes me uncomfortable? Asking questions like this can help you to understand why you feel weird about it, and decide for yourself whether those are good reasons or not. Journaling about it or bringing those feelings up with a therapist can also help!
I’m confused! If masturbating is healthy, why do so many people say it’s not?
We can’t know why an individual person spreads misinformation. There are lots of reasons why some people believe or say they believe untrue things about masturbation!
It’s likely that many of these made-up stories about masturbation come from people who want to keep others from masturbating. Some people do it because they can make money from it, like through selling courses or supplements. Some people do it because they want to control what others do. They might think they’re doing what’s best for other people, according to their own political or religious beliefs. Some people do it just because it makes them feel better about themselves!
Regardless of the reason, we can look to reliable scientific sources for good information about health instead. If an article tells you to buy a product, or gives reasons other than science for why something is unhealthy for you, it might not be a reliable source of health information. Learning to tell when a source of information isn’t reliable can help you get the most out of research online!
Masturbation and you
Masturbation is personal, and different people have different feelings about it. But because it’s personal, you get to decide what’s right for you and your body. Nobody else gets to make that decision for you! There are as many ways as there are people in the world to masturbate. Some might decide they don’t want to masturbate at all, while others may masturbate nearly every day! Whatever you decide to do, it’s your right to choose what feels best for your life, your mind, and your body.
