Lots of people wonder about what the “right” length of time for sex is. Making sex last longer, or making it go faster, doesn’t necessarily make it better or worse. There’s also no one length of time that feels best for everyone. Having satisfying or good sex depends on what feels good for you and your partners. The best way to have great sex is to ask what they want and tell them what you’d like!
If you and your partner decide you want to to delay an orgasm or have someone cum more slowly, there are a few things you can try.
Sex should also only last as long as you or your partner want it to. You can always ask to stop if it doesn’t feel good, you’re not into it, or for any other reason.
Does sex end when someone orgasms or can it last longer?
Sometimes people think that sex has to be over as soon as one person orgasms. But people can have sex without having an orgasm. Someone having an orgasm also doesn’t mean sex is over. You can keep having sex after an orgasm, or even not have an orgasm at all!
Having an orgasm before you or your partners want is common. 1 in 3 people with penises say that they sometimes get off earlier than they would like. Although it might be annoying, try not to feel embarrassed. You can switch to giving your partner oral or hand sex, or ask what they’d like you to do!
What can I do to delay my orgasm?
To last longer during sex, you could try slowing down the pace, taking a break to focus on your partner’s pleasure, or switching positions. You can also switch to other things you enjoy that don’t involve your penis or vagina, like kissing or focusing on other parts of your body.
You could also try delaying penetration by spending more time on foreplay that feels good for both of you, or masturbating together.
Some people find it helps to practice delaying orgasms by masturbating until you are about to cum, and then stopping. For some people, doing this every day for a month or so lets them control their orgasms better.
What can I do to delay my partner’s orgasm?
The physical and emotional intensity of sex can be different from person to person. If your partner is about to orgasm, you could ask them to take a break and focus on something that feels good for you. You can also ask if you can do something that doesn’t involve their penis or vagina, like kissing, talking dirty, or focusing on other parts of your bodies.
You could also try asking them how they feel during sex, what excites them the most, and what makes them orgasm, and talk about toning these down. Understanding these differences and the differences between your bodies can make sex more enjoyable for everyone involved!