I’m Having Sex for the First Time! What do I do?


I’m Having Sex for the First Time! What do I do?

Lots of people are nervous about having sex for the first time. They wonder what it’ll be like or if it’ll hurt. They might have ideas of virginity that make it a big event in their life. Everyone’s first time is different. It can be awkward, fun, painful or exciting! Having the right information can help make sure you’re ready and make it fun!

Before you have sex, it can help to talk about safer sex. That means talking about STIs. If someone could get pregnant, you can also talk about birth control. You can also talk about what feels good to you! That can make sure your partners know what makes you excited.

Safer sex and your first time

Before you have sex, you can talk about how you’d like to make it safer. One easy way to have safer sex is by using a barrier like a dental dam or a condom. This lowers the chances for getting or giving an STI.

You can also add lube to help it feel better for everyone. Lube also helps keep condoms from breaking.

You can buy lube and condoms at a pharmacy at any age. You can also get them for free at places like Head and Hands or ACCM!

If one of you could get pregnant, you can also talk about birth control. You can use condoms or talk about other types of birth control.

Will the first time I have sex hurt? Will I bleed?

Some types of sex can hurt when you do them for the first time. Some people might also bleed. But not everyone has pain or bleeding the first time they have sex. It can feel good! There’s a lot you can do to help the first time feel better.

If sex hurts, you can always stop. You don’t need to keep doing anything that doesn’t feel good.

If someone has a vagina or a front hole they might also have a hymen. A hymen is a thin piece of skin near the opening. Some people’s hymens stretch when they have sex for the first time, which can hurt. But lots of people’s hymens thin out from hormones, tampons, fingers, or certain sports. That means they might not notice it their first time.

How can I reduce the chance of pain the first time?

If you’re worried your first time will hurt, there are some things you can do. Sex shouldn’t hurt if you don’t want it to and that’s still true your first time!

It can help to go slow. If something doesn’t feel good, you can stop or go slower. You can start by using fingers to make sure you feel ready. Then you can switch to something bigger like a penis or a sex toy. It can help to lower yourself onto it so you can control the speed and stop any time you need to.

Before sex, it can help to make sure everyone is very turned on. This helps make sure everyone is relaxed and their bodies are ready for sex. Using lube can also help make sex feel better.

Will I cum too quickly?

Sometimes, people with a penis or strapless will cum quickly when they have sex. It happens to a lot of people! If you’re worried about it, you can talk to your partner before. You can come up with ideas to make sure everyone gets pleasure.

If you want to cum later you can try thick condoms that make your privates less sensitive. If you’re close to cumming, you can also gently squeeze the base of your privates and do sexy things with other body parts. You can give your partner oral sex or ask them to touch other parts of your body. You can also try having an orgasm before you start having sex. This can help you cum later next time!

If you cum earlier than you wanted, you can still help your partners orgasm with your hands or mouth.

Everyone’s first time is very different. Sometimes it hurts, it’s awkward, or it’s not what you expected. It’s okay if things go wrong. But your first time can also be a great experience and a fun way to bond with your partners!

More info

First Intercourse 101

Provides information (more scientific) for teens thinking of having sex for the first time, such as arousal, pain, bleeding, orgasm, finishing, and aftercare. –


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