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I’m Horny. How Do I Deal with My Sexual Urges?

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People all have different ways of dealing being horny, depending on their situation and what they feel like at the time. Some people have sex with partners to deal with being horny, but there are other ways to deal with sexual urges. You can also masturbate or even do something non-sexual to make yourself less horny.

Masturbation

Masturbation is when you give yourself sexual pleasure. You can use your hands, sex toys, or something else. Masturbation is a healthy and common activity, and it’s the only sex act that has no risk of STIs. Having an orgasm, whether that’s through masturbation or sex, often makes your sexual urges go away for a while.

Sex with partners

Having safe and consensual sex can also be a healthy way to deal with being horny. When you’re looking for someone to have sex with, it’s important to think about what you want and communicate this clearly. You can ask yourself questions like:

  • Do you want a romantic partner, or just a sex partner?
  • Do you want to be their only sex partner?
  • Do you want to have sex once or multiple times?
  • How long do you want to have a sex partner for?
  • What kinds of sex acts do you want to do?
  • Do you agree on which methods of STI protection and birth control to use, if needed?

Putting yourself out there can be hard, and some people might be shy when it comes to talking about sex. You can try different social settings to meet new people, or use dating websites and apps like OkCupid or Tinder. It can be frustrating if you want to have sex but don’t have a partner. Sometimes people feel sexual frustration when they haven’t had sex for a long time.

Non-sexual ways to deal with sexual urges

If you feel horny but don’t want to masturbate or have sex, you can try other ways of distracting yourself. Exercising might help, since it can help you release physical energy.

Besides exercising, you can also try concentrating on something else, like meditating, reading, listening to music, eating good food, or going for a walk. It can also help to avoid things that can make you horny, like watching porn.

Should I be worried if I feel horny more or less often?

Many people’s sex drives will naturally change throughout their lifetime. When people start puberty they often feel horny more frequently.  As people get into older adulthood, their sex drive commonly goes down. If you menstruate (have periods), you might also find that you get more or less horny during certain parts of your cycle.

Sex drives can also change from big life events, like new relationships or breakups, childbirth, travel, moving homes, or trauma. If you’re worried about a sudden change in your sex drive, it can help to talk to a doctor.

More info:

  • Sexual Arousal – Wikipedia

    The physical and psychological factors of sexual arousal, various models of arousal, and arousal disorders.

  • Is Masturbation Healthy?

    Information regarding the benefits of masturbation and how you can make sure you are being safe and sanitary when you masturbate.

  • The Whys, Whats and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner

    Some tips and general advice about how to talk about sex with a partner.

  • Yes, No, Maybe So: A Sexual Inventory Stocklist

    Scarleteen’s extensive list of acts, words, terms, behaviours that can help determine what you feel comfortable with. These are starting points: “for evaluating your own sexuality and/or for deeper conversations with someone else. This is so you can start thinking about things such as touching, being naked, or making out with your partners.

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