FAQ

Does Anal Sex Hurt? What’s the Best Way to Have It?

FAQ

Does Anal Sex Hurt? What’s the Best Way to Have It?

Lots of people enjoy anal sex! It can be a fun and sexy thing to do. Lots of people say sex shouldn’t hurt unless you want it to, and that applies to anal too! If it hurts you can slow down, stop or try something else.

When you have anal sex you can start slow and do lots of foreplay. You can also use lube to make someone’s butthole slippery. That makes it easier to put something inside of it. Anal sex has a high risk for giving someone or getting an STI. You can use a condom to make it less likely.

Will anal sex hurt?

Anal sex can hurt or be uncomfortable, especially if it’s someone’s first time. But it doesn’t have to! Starting with someone’s fingers, a small sex toy and using lots of lube can help. Lots of people have anal sex that feels good and is pain-free!

Lots of people recommend using lube because anuses don’t make any lubricant of their own. Without lube, the friction can be painful. The entrance to the anus is also tight. So, it can hurt to put something in it without lube.

Talking to your partner is also important. You can check in to make sure they feel comfortable, relaxed and are having fun. You can also see if they need more lube or want to go slower or faster.

How can I make it less painful?

A few things can help make anal more enjoyable and less painful:

  • Use lots of lube
  • Start slowly
  • Massage outside someone’s butthole to relax the muscles
  • Put something smaller inside first, like a finger or sex toy
  • Let the person being penetrated control the speed by lowering themselves down
  • Ask if everyone feels good

If sex hurts in a way you don’t want it to you can always stop, slow down, or try something new. There are lots of other sexy things people can do that won’t hurt!

What kind of lube should I use for anal sex?

Silicon and water based lubes are great for anal sex! Oil-based lubes like vaseline, lotion or coconut oil can make condoms break, so they’re not recommended. Silicon-based lubes can melt silicon sex toys. So, if you’re using a silicon sex toy, it’s best to use a water-based lube.

Some people like silicon-based lubes because they’re more slippery and you can use less of it. But, they can stain your sheets and be harder to wash off. Other people like water-based lubes because they’re better for sensitive skin and easy to clean. But, you need to use more of it re-apply more often.

Some lubes that are made for anal sex have chemicals that numb your skin. If you want to use these there’s more of a risk that you’ll hurt yourself without feeling it. Pain tells someone when something’s wrong and they need to stop. So, if you decide to use these lubes it’s good to go slow to make sure no one gets hurt.

Will anal sex be messy?

Some people worry that anal sex might be messy. But, your body stores poop higher than anything you put in your butt could reach. So, unless you have to poop it’s unlikely it’ll get messy.

If you’re worried about it you can make sure you poop regularly, wash the outside of your anus with mild soap and water, or insert a finger or sex toy into your anus before sex to check for poop.

What kind of protection should I use for anal?

Anal sex can give someone an STI. There’s also a risk that someone’s sperm can drip into their partner’s vagina or front hole and make them pregnant. Because of this, it’s safer to use a condom.

If you want to switch from anal to oral, vaginal, or front hole sex you can use a new condom to prevent infections. For rimming or analingus, you can use a thin sheet of latex called a dental dam to prevent STIs.

Anal sex can feel good to lots of people! Other people might not like it. To make it feel as good as possible you can use lube, go slowly, and talk to your partners. If you don’t like it or it doesn’t feel good to you then you can always stop and try something new.

More info

Meet Your Prostate!

A Scarleteen article that covers the relationship between sexual orientation, sexual desire and gender; the ins and outs of anal sex; a description of the prostate…

Tags

Related FAQs