Lots of people wonder what “counts” as cheating in a relationship. There’s no one right answer! Cheating is when someone breaks the trust or commitment they have with their partner. This means they might do something they know their partner isn’t okay with, does something without asking, or lies about something they did.
People have different things they’re okay with their partners doing. Some people might think of kissing someone else as cheating. Other people might see flirting or doing something romantic with someone else as cheating.
You can talk to your partners about what cheating looks like to you and to them. That way you can learn what might hurt them. Having clear boundaries can stop someone from getting hurt.
Is it wrong to think about or have sex with someone else?
Not everyone’s the same when talking about relationships. Different people can have different wants and needs! Some people might want to only have sex with and fantasize about their partner. But, some people might be okay with fantasizing about other people or having sex with other people!
Whether you’re in a relationship or single you might feel that:
- You only want to have sex with one person who you’re in a relationship with
- Relationships aren’t for you, but you want to have sex with more than one person
- You’re only interested in sex with one partner, but you fantasize about other people
- You want to have sex with your partner and other people
- You’re not interested in sex with anyone
Any of these feelings are okay! You can talk to your partner about how you feel. This can help you figure out what kind of relationship everyone will be happy with.
Is watching porn without my partner cheating?
Many people like watching porn. Porn can help people learn about what kinds of sex they like. It can be a fun part someone’s sex life!
If you’re worried about how your partner might react to you watching porn, it can help to talk about it. Talking about things like this can help partners feel more connected and relaxed in a relationship!
Is it ever ok to have sex with someone else?
Yes! If everyone in the relationship knows about the situation and is happy about it, it’s okay. Lots of people have open or polyamorous relationships. This means they have sex or relationships with more than one person.
As long as you and your partners are okay with it, having sex with other people can be part of a healthy relationship. If you and your partners are in an open or polyamorous relationship, it can help to talk a lot and set boundaries. For example, some people might be okay with having sex with other people but not dating them.
How do I ask my partners about what they think is cheating?
Having big conversations like this can be scary for lots of people. Before you talk to your partner you can think about what you think cheating is. You can use a want, will, won’t list to set your own boundaries!
If you and your partners think cheating is different things, it’s never okay to pressure them to change their minds. Everyone should respect each other’s boundaries when they talk about this.
Talking about things like this can help people feel more comfortable in their relationship. Your partners should never make you feel bad about yourself for talking about what you want. There’s no right way to feel or to think about cheating. Having clear boundaries is the best way to make sure everyone feels happy and safe in their relationship!
