A lot of people have sex while doing drugs or drinking alcohol. Whether or not you want to have sex when you’re using drugs or alcohol is up to you and your partners. But, there are some things you can consider to make a decision that makes you feel good.
Using drugs and alcohol during sex can have some extra risks. It’s important that you and your partners feel excited and good about your decision. It’s also good to think about how using certain substances might change the way you make decisions. You can always set boundaries before you use drugs or alcohol! You should also never have sex with anyone who can’t clearly say yes or no.
How do I know how I’ll react to drugs or alcohol?
Not everyone has the same reaction to drugs or alcohol. Different amounts of drugs or alcohol can also affect people differently! Sometimes, the amount that would make one person really drunk doesn’t do the same for someone else. A lot of people call this someone’s tolerance.
If you’ve tried drugs or alcohol before you might know what your tolerance is like. If you haven’t, you can learn how you react before you combine them with sex. Not all drugs work the same way. So, you might react really differently to different drugs.
Why do people want to have sex while doing drugs or alcohol?
People who like combining sex with drugs and alcohol have different reasons for liking it! Some people might like the way it makes their bodies feel when they have sex. But, combining sex with alcohol or drugs can carry some extra risks. Some of them could be:
- Having trouble communicating
- Forgetting to use protection like condoms, birth control or PrEP
- Not using protection properly
- Having trouble getting aroused or orgasming
Is it okay to have sex with my partner when one or both of us is drunk or high?
Whether you want to have sex while you and your partners are using drugs or alcohol is up to you. You can talk about it when you’re both sober. This can help you set boundaries and limits so things are clear when you’re drunk or high.
It’s never okay to do any sexual things with someone when they’re too drunk or high to clearly say whether they want to. Any sexual thing done without someone’s enthusiastic consent is sexual assault. It’s not okay to do any sexual thing with your partner if they’re:
- Not speaking clearly
- Spacey or ‘out of it’
- Unable to do basic things like walk without help
Instead, you can ask if they’re okay or need help. You can also make sure they get home or to bed safely.
How can I practice safer sex while using drugs or alcohol?
There are lots of things you can do to have safer sex while using drugs or alcohol. Some of these things are:
- Use clean needles, equipment, or straws
- Use alcohol and drugs in moderation
- Start with small doses and slowly take more
- Prepare safer sex materials beforehand
- Have condoms, lube, gloves, or dental dams available
- Get tested for STIs regularly
- Talk to your partner about boundaries, limits, and what you’re into before getting drunk or high
- Learn about the warning signs someone’s too drunk or high
If you’re snorting or injecting drugs you can use clean equipment and avoid sharing with other people. Sharing equipment comes with a big risk for giving or getting HIV or Hepatitis C. You can also always start by taking small amounts of drugs or alcohol. You can always take more, but you can’t take less than what you’ve already had!
I’m worried about my own drinking or drug use. What should I do?
Lots of people use drugs and alcohol. It’s common for people to try these things with friends or partners.
If you’re having a hard time controlling your drug and alcohol use, you can talk to someone you trust or a doctor. Addiction and substance abuse affects a lot of people. It can also look different from what we expect or see in movies.
It can be hard to ask for help. There are lots of different ways of dealing with addiction and substance abuse. You can make the decision that feels right for you. In Montreal, places like Head and Hands and Cactus can help someone with safer drug use or getting help without telling them what to do.