It’s common for people to worry about their penis size. One thing some people worry about is that their penis, or their partner’s penis, might be too big for penetrative sex. Penetrative sex is sex where someone’s penis or bottom growth goes into their partner’s vagina, anus, or mouth.
It’s very rare for a penis to be too big for penetrative sex. But sometimes people can find large penises uncomfortable. If you or your partner are having trouble, the good news is that there are lots of things you can do! There are also lots of other ways to have sex if penetration just isn’t working for you in the moment.
Can a penis be too big for condoms?
Most condoms can hold up to 2L of fluid. So, it’s not likely that someone’s penis could be too big for condoms! But for those who find that standard-sized condoms feel tight on their penis, many condom brands make Large and Extra-Large sizes. Putting a little bit of lube in the tip (or reservoir) of a condom before you put it on can also help condoms feel less constricting.
Can a penis be too big for penis-in-vagina (PIV) sex? What about anal sex?
There are a few reasons why some might find penetrative vaginal or anal sex uncomfortable with a partner who has a large penis. Some common reasons are stress, not enough lubrication, and not being relaxed enough. Fortunately, there are lots of things that can help with those! Using lube, making sure to spend time on foreplay, and checking in with each other can go a long way.
A large hymen or shorter vaginal canal can also make PIV sex painful for the receiving partner. Trying different positions can help with this! Some find that if the receiving partner is on top, they can react more quickly to any pain. But everyone is different! Experimenting with new positions can be a fun way to find what feels good for you.
Another reason that a receiving partner with a vagina might find a large penis uncomfortable could be vaginismus. This is a condition that causes extreme vaginal tightness and pain during intercourse. There’s no one way to treat vaginismus, but for those who think the may have it, a doctor can tell them more about their options.
Can a penis be too big for oral sex?
Sometimes, performing oral sex on someone with a large penis can be uncomfortable. A common reason for this is the gag reflex. The gag reflex is something that can happen when a penis hits a sensitive part in the back of someone’s mouth or throat. This can cause some people to gag, choke, or even throw up!
It’s important to know that there’s nothing wrong with having a gag reflex. You can try different positions to find one that avoids hitting the back of the mouth or throat. Some also find that it helps to take deep breaths through the nose, relax their throat, and go slow when giving blow jobs. The important thing is finding what’s comfortable and feels good for everyone!
What can I do if my penis is too big for my partner?
There are lots of things you can try! Because everyone is different, there’s no one right solution when it comes to sex. The important thing is to find sex that you and your partner feel good and excited about!
You can use lube to make the vagina or anus more slippery, making penetration easier and more comfortable. It also helps keep condoms from breaking! Lube is available at most pharmacies.
Stress can also cause the vagina or anus to tighten. You can help your partner relax by focusing on doing lots of foreplay and making sure you’re both turned on. Going slow and not forcing anything can be important! It’s also important to talk to your partner. You can check in to make sure they’re comfortable, relaxed and are feeling good.
Finally, it’s important to remember that if someone isn’t ready or capable of having penetrative sex, that’s okay! While we’re often made to feel like penetrative sex is the be-all and end-all of sex, there are lots of other ways to have and enjoy sex with a partner. Mutual masturbation, fingering or hand jobs, cunnilingus, rimming, and other kinds of “outercourse” can be just as exciting as penetrative sex! So can using sex toys, like a vibrator. It all depends on what feels best for you and the person or people you’re having sex with!
